I like you a lot. There were a pretty few close time that I wanted to write that to you while we’re texting each other. But hey, I prefer to say it to you in person. Like I said. Saying that to a person in person has more meaning to it. But that’s just me though.
Anyways, the reason why I have these feelings. Hmmm… I don’t think I can come up with a good reason. So I’ll just say this. When we text each other. I somehow feel like I can open up to you and say anything and you wouldn’t mind at all. I guess you’re easy to talk too. And when we first met. It was funny. Me delivering a pasta THAT late at night? Who does that? xD Although I couldn’t see you in the dark when I gave you that pasta. I could make out how you look like. And all I could really say… You’re beautiful. You got me speechless!
Sighh. Sadly, you won’t be able to see this post though. :P
I really thought I had a chance to be with her. Only to find out that her family is still old tradition. And that just kind of ruin my chances of even confessing my feelings. But then I think she should know how I feel already since I made my feelings so obvious toward her.
So now, I can just keep pursuing her or I can just stop and move on. Hahaha! Even if I did choose to move on. I don’t regret the feelings I have for her. I kind of… Miss having those feelings anyways. Those feeling of missing, longing and wanting to do anything for the person you like. :)
Sigh. But you know… It’s just that I really like her. And I just really wanted to be with her. And even if I can’t be with her. I just wanted to see her. I guess, some things just won’t work out anymore. :(
Even though I know it’s not okay that I give myself false hope. I still do it anyways. I tell myself everyday will be okay. And when I do have a bad day (which is rare that I do). I still think that tomorrow will be better. I mean today (as an July 2nd. I’m writing this at 2am) started out good. I got to chit chat with my crush. Play a few songs for her and blah blah blah. Then I took a nap and that just ruin everything. -_- I woke up cranky af! But I still tell myself that as the hours pass by it’ll get better. Which it did. Because I was texting with my crush… And then I finally told her that I have a crush on her. Sighhh. In the end. I got friendzone. Hahaha! xD Sighhh… :| It’s okay. I’m use too it. It’s just that… I thought she felted the same way too. And I had hope that she and I can start something. But then I was stupid to even think of that. And why? Because she just got out of a relationship not too long ago. So yeah. Everything will be aaaaaaaaaahhllllll okay…
Our first time hanging out. Although you couldn’t get out of the house and we have to hang out at your front door it was fun. I couldn’t stop talking because I feel like if I stop. I would get nervous and start shaking. But really though, I really do enjoy the time with you even though it’s short. Haha. I hope to spend more time with you in the future. :)
Today has got to be different. I mean everyday is different but this day is VERY different. I have never been so open about my past relationship with my coworkers before. And for once I open up. Man… I’m one angry guy. Haha!
My mind is blank. I have no one to think of. :| I miss that feeling of thinking, missing and loving someone. :\